Premarital Counseling

We’re Getting Married! How Do We Maintain A Healthy, Happy Relationship?

Congratulations, and I’m glad you are here! So often the focus is on creating a beautiful wedding day, when it is just as important to put effort into planning how to have a beautiful relationship through premarital counseling.

Many couples enter into marriage with high hopes and expectations, but the ups and downs of life create unexpected challenges. Our goal is to help you create a solid foundation by:

improving communication
understanding your cycle of conflict
aligning expectations around family of origin, finances, beliefs, future goals
creating comfort and confidence to address sex and intimacy

These important tools for a lasting marriage are covered in my program The Happy Couple Plan, which guides our work together and includes videos and exercise to enhance our work.

Quote: The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is a reaction, both are transformed. Carl Jung

Why Do We Need Premarital Counseling At The Beginning Of Our Relationship?

Premarital counseling is becoming increasingly common as couples recognize the importance of investing in their relationship before saying “I do.” It’s a proactive step towards building a strong and fulfilling partnership.

By addressing potential issues upfront, couples can increase their chances of a happy and successful marriage. Many people assume therapy is for problems, but any couples therapist will tell you that we wish couples would come in sooner before there is disconnection and resentment. Premarital Counseling creates the groundwork for avoidance of problems by creating a shared understanding and plan for your life together.

What Should We Expect In Premarital Counseling And Does It Really Help?

Premarital counseling typically involves a series of sessions with a trained therapist. Couples will discuss topics such as communication, intimacy, finances, family planning, and conflict resolution. The therapist will provide guidance and support, and some homework, to help develop strategies for building a strong relationship.

Research suggests that couples who participate in premarital counseling are more likely to experience higher levels of marital satisfaction and lower rates of divorce.

Numerous studies have shown the positive impact of premarital counseling on relationship outcomes. Couples who engage in premarital counseling often report improved communication, increased intimacy, and stronger problem-solving skills.

Let’s Start Helping You Plan For Your Marriage Today!

Investing in your relationship before marriage is one of the best decisions you can make. Premarital counseling can help you build a strong foundation for a happy and lasting marriage. Don’t wait until problems arise to seek help. Contact us to get started, we are ready to guide you through this important process with online sessions anywhere in California or in-person sessions at our office in Danville, California..

Read my blog post, Wedding Planning? 5 Ways To Plan To Stay Married Forever, now.

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980’s. There has been significant empirical research that shows that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvement. For more information on these studies, you can visit www.iceeft.org.

Emotionally Focused Therapy earned the American Psychological Association (APA) gold standard as the most effective evidenced based couples therapy approach currently in the field.

As a Certified EFT Therapist I have met rigorous standards to achieve certification and continually work to hone my skills in couples therapy. I guide my couples through a transformative experience that helps them identify their negative cycle and move from conflict to connection and happiness.

Emotionally Focused Therapy gives couples a road map to follow for the therapeutic process. Together we move through 3 stages of work including:

Identifying and de-escalating your cycle of conflict
Restructuring and deepening your bond by seeing each other and yourself in a new way
Consolidating a new cycle in which you both feel heard, understood and valued in your communication and secure in your relationship

Five Tips for Successful Couples Therapy

You get out of it, what you put into it. Attending sessions on a weekly basis and being open to listening to your partner and expressing yourself are key to success.
What happens in the session, stays in the session. An important part of therapy is talking about hard, challenging subjects. The therapy room should be a safe space to do that, without fear that you or your partner will punish each other after the session is over.
Slow and steady wins the race. Understandably, we want our problems fixed immediately, however therapy is a process. While some immediate relief can be experienced, there are also times that are very uncomfortable and hard. Being patient and allowing the time that is needed for deeper change is important.
Our history impacts our present. While much of couples therapy is spent exploring the current dynamics of your relationship. Some time is also spent exploring each of your individual backgrounds. Our family and old relationships greatly influence our present relationships, and working through those can be very helpful.
Be open with your therapist about how therapy is going. Change often occurs when we are uncomfortable, because that is when we are doing something different. However, feeling uncomfortable often makes us want to flee. Sharing those thoughts and feelings with your therapist is so important, and could lead to a breakthrough.

What to Expect

The first step in getting the life you want is asking for help. I know that can feel hard, but it might be good to know that most people feel a sense of relief after their first session and are much more comfortable than they expected.

Once you contact me, we will set up a 20-minute video consultation so that I can ensure I am a fit for your needs, answer any questions you have, and get you all set on my schedule if we decide to work together.

I will then send you a link to fill out my private practice forms online prior to your appointment. You will have an online portal to manage your schedule, billing and securely communicate with me.

Then, plan to meet weekly for your 50-minute online session. Consistency in attending sessions is the most important factor in making steady progress in your therapy process.

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