Everyone says your wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Yet with the big day on the horizon, you’re feeling more and more anxious with each passing second. You might be tossing and turning at night, thinking about everything that could go wrong. Maybe planning takes up so much of your time, you feel like you barely have a moment to breathe. Perhaps you and your partner have even been bickering because you’re both so stressed. You want to truly enjoy your engagement. But the pre-wedding jitters are making it hard.
Pre-wedding anxiety is normal. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to manage these feelings in healthy ways. These suggestions can help you deepen your connection with your partner while staying calm in the lead up to your wedding.
Open Up to Your Partner
Talking to your partner about how you’re really feeling can make you feel much lighter. You might worry that telling your partner that you’re anxious about your upcoming wedding will leave them concerned about your feelings for them. But wedding anxiety is not a reflection of your feelings towards your partner.
In fact, trying to keep these feelings under wraps can result in random outbursts or complaints that seem to come out of nowhere, leaving your partner confused. Talking to them openly gives them the chance to support you. Plus, you might be surprised to find they feel the same way.
Set Reasonable Boundaries With Family
Even if you and your partner are close with your families, there’s no denying that the most well-meaning family members can still contribute to wedding stress. Your family members might have strong opinions on your wedding plans, and you don’t know how to navigate these discussions.
You and your partner may have to put certain family members on “information diets,” which involves giving them little to no detail about your plans. Furthermore, you should each take responsibility for setting boundaries with your own families.
Make Time for Each Other
In the chaos of wedding planning, it’s easy to push date nights to the back burner. But whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, it’s important to continue making time to have fun together.
Plan date nights at your favorite restaurants, take a long weekend out of town and leave wedding planning at home for a few days, or commit to going for daily walks without your phones. You’ll be able to remember what you love about your partner, and why you’re marrying them, without the burden of wedding planning hanging over your head.
Prioritize Self-Care
At any given moment, you can probably think of some wedding-related task you should be tackling. However, it’s important to block off some time each day when you can simply sit back and relax. You may want to create a wedding planning “schedule” and devote specific time blocks to wedding planning and other blocks to winding down. Wedding planning does not have to be a 24/7 job.
Practice Acceptance
Remember, your wedding can be a wonderful day, even if it isn’t perfect. Chances are, some small things will go wrong. In the future, you will either laugh about these mishaps or forget them entirely. You might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself to avoid any wedding day blunders, but you do not have to live up to this impossible standard. As long as you’re marrying the person you love, your wedding day is bound to be a success.
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Get in touch with our therapists to learn more about how couples therapy can help you cope with pre-wedding anxiety while strengthening your bond.
Author: Stephanie Saari
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. I love working with couples and individuals to find strength, growth and empowerment through their struggles and challenges.
