Affair Recovery Therapy

An affair has rocked our relationship, is there hope?

How could this have happened to us? Can we ever recover from this? I am so angry, but I love my partner and don’t want to lose our family. I feel guilt and don’t know how I’ll ever be able to explain this and earn my partner’s trust back. Where do we go from here?

These are all normal and valid questions when an affair is revealed and I have helped hundreds of couples answer them and find a path forward through affair recovery therapy.

Quote: The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is a reaction, both are transformed. Carl Jung

Affair Recovery Is Absolutely Possible

Infidelity is a deeply painful betrayal, affecting about 30% of relationships. The revelation of an affair is overwhelming, with many conflicting emotions including shock, anger, confusion, fear and a sense of loss. Navigating these complex emotions and rebuilding a relationship after such a traumatic event requires specialized support. Many couples successfully rebuild their lives and relationship after an affair.

Affair recovery therapy provides a safe and supportive space to process the pain, answer the question of “why”, rebuild trust, develop healthy communication skills and make resolved decisions about the relationship moving forward.

Will Affair Recovery Therapy Work?

When an affair is revealed, the possibility of saving the relationship can feel very daunting, so It’s understandable to question whether therapy can truly help heal the wounds caused by infidelity. The effectiveness of therapy depends on several factors, including the commitment of both partners, the willingness to engage in the process honestly, and the quality of the therapeutic relationship. While there are no guarantees, many couples report significant improvements in their relationships after undergoing affair recovery therapy.

My specialized training in affair recovery, using the most effective form of couples therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, offers a structured approach with the goals of:

Working through initial emotions including: pain, fear, guilt, shock, sadness
Together making sense of underlying causes, leading to relief and a deeper understanding of yourself and each other
Using this new understanding to create a deeper connection and bond

While specific outcome studies on affair recovery therapy may be limited, research consistently supports the benefits of therapy for individuals and couples dealing with relationship challenges. By addressing underlying issues, improving communication, and developing healthy coping mechanisms, therapy can significantly enhance the chances of successful affair recovery.

Let’s Get Started Today

Healing and rebuilding are possible after an affair and beginning therapy immediately is key. Affair recovery therapy can provide the tools and support you need to navigate this challenging time. Take the first step towards healing by contacting us today for online sessions anywhere in California or in-person sessions at our office in Danville, California.

Read my blog post, Infidelity: What To Do After Discovering An Affair now.

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980’s. There has been significant empirical research that shows that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvement. For more information on these studies, you can visit www.iceeft.org.

Emotionally Focused Therapy earned the American Psychological Association (APA) gold standard as the most effective evidenced based couples therapy approach currently in the field.

As a Certified EFT Therapist I have met rigorous standards to achieve certification and continually work to hone my skills in couples therapy. I guide my couples through a transformative experience that helps them identify their negative cycle and move from conflict to connection and happiness.

Emotionally Focused Therapy gives couples a road map to follow for the therapeutic process. Together we move through 3 stages of work including:

Identifying and de-escalating your cycle of conflict
Restructuring and deepening your bond by seeing each other and yourself in a new way
Consolidating a new cycle in which you both feel heard, understood and valued in your communication and secure in your relationship

Five Tips for Successful Couples Therapy

You get out of it, what you put into it. Attending sessions on a weekly basis and being open to listening to your partner and expressing yourself are key to success.
What happens in the session, stays in the session. An important part of therapy is talking about hard, challenging subjects. The therapy room should be a safe space to do that, without fear that you or your partner will punish each other after the session is over.
Slow and steady wins the race. Understandably, we want our problems fixed immediately, however therapy is a process. While some immediate relief can be experienced, there are also times that are very uncomfortable and hard. Being patient and allowing the time that is needed for deeper change is important.
Our history impacts our present. While much of couples therapy is spent exploring the current dynamics of your relationship. Some time is also spent exploring each of your individual backgrounds. Our family and old relationships greatly influence our present relationships, and working through those can be very helpful.
Be open with your therapist about how therapy is going. Change often occurs when we are uncomfortable, because that is when we are doing something different. However, feeling uncomfortable often makes us want to flee. Sharing those thoughts and feelings with your therapist is so important, and could lead to a breakthrough.

What to Expect

The first step in getting the life you want is asking for help. I know that can feel hard, but it might be good to know that most people feel a sense of relief after their first session and are much more comfortable than they expected.

Once you contact me, we will set up a 20-minute video consultation so that I can ensure I am a fit for your needs, answer any questions you have, and get you all set on my schedule if we decide to work together.

I will then send you a link to fill out my private practice forms online prior to your appointment. You will have an online portal to manage your schedule, billing and securely communicate with me.

Then, plan to meet weekly for your 50-minute online session. Consistency in attending sessions is the most important factor in making steady progress in your therapy process.

Contact Me

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