Do you get nervous about expressing yourself honestly? Being emotionally vulnerable isn’t easy. Maybe you struggle to tell your partner when you’re upset. Perhaps you try to hide your feelings from your loved ones because you don’t want to give them reasons to worry. You might feel ashamed whenever you let your true feelings slip.
Growing up, you might have been taught that your feelings were unimportant. People may have dismissed or ignored you when you tried to share what was on your mind. Now, you feel like your inability to display vulnerability might be getting in the way of strengthening your relationships. These tips can help you gradually get comfortable with emotional vulnerability so that you can embrace openness in your relationships.
Try Journaling
Getting in touch with your own emotions is the first step towards vulnerability. If you’re used to suppressing your own feelings, you may have difficulty identifying your own emotions. A daily journaling practice can be a powerful medium for shifting your relationship to your emotions. Writing down your thoughts in a private space gives you the opportunity to honestly reflect on how you’re feeling, learn how different events affect your mood, and release any guilt or shame you might experience in relation to complicated emotions. Journaling allows you to practice for vulnerable conversations.
Start Small
When it comes to expressing yourself openly, you do not have to start sharing extremely personal details with large audiences. Instead, start small. If you’ve been feeling low, open up to a close friend, sibling, or mentor, and let them know that you’ve been having a tough time. This conversation might feel a little nerve-wracking, but that’s perfectly normal. Chances are, your friend will respond with compassion, giving you the confidence to share more with other people in the future.
Prepare for the “Vulnerability Hangover”
What if you open up to someone, they comfort you, and you wake up the next day worrying that you overshared? This is actually a common experience. It does not mean you’ve done anything wrong! If you’re not used to sharing your honest emotions, you might experience a “vulnerability hangover” after you open up. Prepare for this possibility and find a healthy coping mechanism to soothe these feelings. You might want to go for a walk or exercise to relax.
Creative Expression
In addition to journaling, other forms of creative expression can enable you to express your emotions openly. You may want to take a dance class, try different forms of yoga, or experiment with painting, playing an instrument, or singing. Exploring these art forms with a group in a classroom setting can boost your confidence. You’ll be able to share your own forms of expression and see other people grapple with their own vulnerability in a welcoming, encouraging environment.
Let People Open Up to You
Finally, don’t hesitate to support other people in your life when they’re feeling down. Sometimes, if you’re uncomfortable with your own emotions, it can be tough to be there for your friends when they’re in need. Showing up for people when they need it most can actually shift your attitude around talking about your own feelings. When you’re at ease making space for vulnerability and complex emotions from other people, you’ll see that putting pressure on yourself to remain stoic at all times is an unrealistic expectation. Just like anyone else in your life, you deserve to open up.
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Talking to an emotionally focused therapist is a great way to get comfortable with emotional vulnerability in a safe space, and we invite you to connect with us to book your first appointment.
Author: Stephanie Saari
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. I love working with couples and individuals to find strength, growth and empowerment through their struggles and challenges.
